On the Audacity of Knitting Socks

I recently bought, due to the book being on sale and a current fascination with socks, a sock book. I forget the exact title, but it was something along the lines of Easy Knitted Socks for the Novice Knitter. The majority of the socks in said book are knit on straights and sewn up, or knit on circulars.

The book in its native habitat. Note the variety pictured on the cover. Scientists can only speculate on the variety held within.

Being me, I immediately fixated on 'Spiral Heelless Socks.' Though I enjoy turning a heel, perhaps because each row is a little bit less, a little bit less, then a little bit more, a little bit more, and then bam! you have a full needle of stitches to knit and a beautifully turned heel. Also, it's a little challenging, it's a marker in the sock, being the 1/3 ish point, and it's just so cool. A person, with nothing but two sticks and string, can make flat fabric with interlocking loops that stay together when taken off the sticks, unlike cat's cradle, yea, create fabric that wants to be and holds a roughly 90 degree angle. You have to admit that is awesome. However, equally intriguing is the idea that because a fabric spirals one does not need a heel. Just thinking about this gets me excited - a smile on my face and a pressure building up behind my sternum that I put my fists to like I could cup it, breathe life into it, and set it into the world like a resurrected butterfly, or maybe to cradle this feeling of pride that anyone could come up with an idea that changes anything and everything, if only slightly or in the distant future. I gesture with my hands rolling at the wrists from my chest to the world, my hands mirroring the cogs in my brain turning, only so much slower! I half laugh as I talk, overcome by the sheer wonder of it all. And to think people think that knitting is boring.

Before I got onto the tangent of excitement, I meant to show some pictures.

Here the socks relax by a candle. Note the stockinette stitch toe and diagonal 2x2 rib.

Unknown internet source.

Here you can see that there truly is no heel. Why did you doubt me? Again, note the diagonal rib characteristic of the Spiral heelless sock. Also an unknown internet source.


Here's a closeup. Ignore the stripes and you will see, young Padawan, that this is different - it has a possibly 1x1 or 2x1 ribbed cuff, and is being knit toe down. In addition, see the subtle difference in rib thickness and placement? This is a smooth, solid swath of ribbing, whereas the others had a staggered rectangle 'staircase' of ribbing. The possibility remains that it is a hybrid, not an entirely different species. Scientists are still researching this possibility. Again, an unknown internet source.

So I looked over the pattern and saw that it was knitted on US4 circulars until the cuff, where it was switched to US3 circulars and used an alpaca yarn at DK weight. No problem, I thought to myself. I currently own one pair of circulars, a US9/28 inch cable set that I love, made of bamboo. I'll just have socks with more drape and honestly, I get cold in the winter, but not cold enough that I need to keep every last calorie's worth of heat in - I don't live in Northern Alaska! These socks will just...breathe. Going with this new zen, go with the flow quality (perhaps meditation should come after knitting, you know, when my hands are cramping, my shoulders are cramping, I'm going insane having picked up and dropped stitches 40 times over, I haven't eaten in hours, my bladder is threatening to explode, and I've just finished a season's worth of Monk, but hey, it's all right - I only ripped back twice and I've gotten four inches done on my little 30 stitch swatch!), I figured that since I was using bigger needles, I could also use thicker yarn. Yarn with a recommendation of US8 needles to get 17 sts/4" and 23 rows/4" square...yes, that ought to work...

I pull out some Moda Dea 100% wool yarn that goes thick to thin specifically purchased to make socks with, also purchased on sale, with coupons. Is anyone else noticing a pattern here? It's called 'Sea Blue,' and has slight variegation in shade and tint.

I have dye lot 105, if anyone out there is wondering. Now, the label says 50g/77 yd/71m, and even though the pattern says they used 100% alpaca DK weight with about 131 yd/120m/50g, I'm not worried. For one, alpaca and sheep wools have to be similar, and it'll just knit up loose due to the needle sizes. If you look at the picture to the right, you see the variegation, expressed in this unusually shaped swatch as stripes. On the left, a skein of my precious.....my precious - I mean, the beautiful yarn.

So I cast on, I follow the pattern exactly until I've completed 30 rows/about 6.5 inches, trying it on as I go, showing it off to people, and dreading the second sock, I realize - it's much too wide. It's an inch or so too loose without it being stretched. Something is wrong here. So I have a friend take it off the needles for me, being physically incapable, and frog it all. A L L All of my beautiful sock - ripped back and a ball of yarn once more. So I go back and figure okay, when stretched it's about twice as big as it should be, I'll go back and halve the pattern.

So I restart - and almost immediately need to rip back. Taking a deep breath, I tell myself 'better now than later, at .5 inches instead of 6.5 inches,' and start over. Certainly it'll be fine now - third time's a charm, right?

Impossible. I cast on half the stitches the pattern says to (10, instead of 20) and keep going. And keep going. Eventually I end up with 40 stitches, there being several make 1 knit' s in there. This is great except for

a) The pattern calls for there to be 52 stitches at this point, and last I checked, 40 is in no way half of or even close to half of 52.

b) I need to fit P1, m1k, (k2, p2) 5 times, k2, m1k, p1, k1, m1k, p2, (k2, p2) 5 times, m1k, k1 into my sock of 40 stitches. (this ends up being 52 stitches). Having decided to go easy on myself, I leave all the non-parenthesized bits alone, and just try to change those to four times. Too much. I change them to three - too little. I count up four and three repeats - 7 total, instead of 10 total, and it's just right. But where do I put them? I finally put the four first, since it will be my right socks, and on the second, left, sock I shall put three first.

Problem(s) solved, correct? No. I have now finished the first 30 rows, rows 15 - 30 of which need to be repeated four times, according to the pattern. Now, had my halving plan just worked, I could look forward to only 15 more rows. However, having reconciled myself to the fact that it will not fit properly if I do only two repeats (two 15 - 30 's total, giving a grand total of 45 rows), I will now have to do three repeats - if I'm lucky. In addition, I realized just now that I have knit the equivalent of one sock or so, yet still have only half of a sock. To top it all off, the yarn is beginning to run out, and I only purchased two balls of the stuff. I mean, seriously. 154yds of $3/skein yarn? That better be enough! I enjoy knitting, but not that much. There are more important things in life. Things like chocolate, and books, and stuff. Can't think of anything else. Not even utility bills. Maybe soft toilet paper. But that's about it.

However, the paragraph above did not even include the crowning problem, not in the least. You see, after the four repeats of rows 15 - 30, I have to work a tighter rib that will keep my sock on my ankle and not allow the sock top slouch down. It doesn't seem like much of a problem, in fact, it isn't a problem. Except for the fact that the pattern calls for a switch in needle size to US3 from US4. I figure that a switch from US9 to US8 or US7 would be about equivalent...except, I own neither...

Maybe I can just find some nice ribbons and make eyelets in the sock. Yes, that sounds good. Very classy, old-fashioned, almost garter like, only around my ankles. You know, I'm liking this idea more and more now that I think about the national economy, cost of knitting notions, needles in particular, and how it all relates to me. Yes, let me go check the ribbon stash...I think I know exactly what to get out....